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The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012. AjL03
Visualized data in the chart represents the percentage of unemployment in Australia in the year 2012. The chart includes the percentages of people living in the cities as well as people living in the villages. Moreover, the year is divided into quarters to understand the data without any misunderstanding. At first I will start with the consideration of percentages of urban people. In the start of the year, the number of unemployed people was approximately 6. 5% which gradually decreased to 5% by the end of the year. Their is a significant fall in the unemployment rate in the middle of the year and the least unemployment rate that is about 4. 5% can be seen just after the second quarter. The fluctuation in the chart after the second quarter does not hold much significant value. Secondly, the noticeable rise and fall in the unemployement situation in urban areas can be seen clearly. Chart is visualizing the great start of the year with around 2. 1% of unemployed citizens but the worst result that is about 4. 9% by the end of the year 2012. All in all, the comparison is highly noticeable and it can easily be judged that rural areas is coping up with the unemployment rate significantly well as compared to the people living in urban areas.
Visualized data in the
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chart
represents the percentage of
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unemployment
in Australia in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
includes the percentages of
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people
living in the cities
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the villages.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is divided
into quarters to understand the data without any misunderstanding.

At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, I".
first I
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the consideration of percentages of urban
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people
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, the number of unemployed
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people
was approximately 6. 5% which
gradually
decreased to 5% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
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year
.
Did you mean "there"?
Their
is a significant fall in the
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unemployment
rate in the middle of the
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year
and the least
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unemployment
rate
that is
about 4. 5% can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after the second quarter. The fluctuation in the
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chart
after the second quarter does not hold much significant value.

Secondly
, the noticeable rise and fall in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployement
situation in urban areas can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
.
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Chart
is visualizing the great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
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year
with around 2. 1% of unemployed citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the worst result
that is
about 4. 9% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012.

All in all, the comparison is
highly
noticeable and it can
easily
be judged
that rural areas is coping up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
rate
significantly
well as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in urban areas.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the unemployment situation in Australia in the year 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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