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The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014 8VPP
The line graph depicts the amount of different types of jam, sold in the period of 2009-2014. It could be plainly viewed, that all kinds of jam experienced oscillations, followed by steady upward trend, excepting a plum, which in the beginning constituted about 2. 5 millions, exactly equal to the raspberry, but unlike it, plum lost almost 0. 5 millions each year and in 2014 hit a low of 0 millions sold. Reverse trend can be seen in the grape sales: starting with 0. 5 millions it each year grew in 0. 6-0. 8 millions, run up to 4. 5 millions in 2014. At the same time, the highest position in the most of period was held by strawberry. In 2005 nearly 3. 1-3. 2 millions was consumed. It is worth noticing that while the sales of strawberry markedly rose, cherry and raspberry lost the buyers and vice versa. Such trend notable in 2011, when raspberry and cherry decreased to 3. 5 and 2 millions, strawberry reached 4. 5. And in 2014 strawberry peaked with 7 millions, while cherry lost 0. 2-0. 3.
The line graph depicts the amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of jam, sold in the period of 2009-2014. It could be
plainly
viewed, that all kinds of jam experienced oscillations, followed by steady upward trend, excepting a plum, which in the beginning constituted about 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, exactly equal to the raspberry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unlike it, plum lost almost 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
each year and in 2014 hit a low of 0
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
sold. Reverse trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the grape sales: starting with 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
it each year grew in 0. 6-0. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, run up to 4. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 2014. At the same time, the highest position in the
Consider using "most period" or "most of the period".
most of period
was held
by strawberry. In 2005
nearly
3. 1-3. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
was consumed
. It is worth noticing that while the sales of strawberry
markedly
rose, cherry and raspberry lost the buyers and vice versa. Such trend notable in 2011, when raspberry and cherry decreased to 3. 5 and 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, strawberry reached 4. 5. And in 2014 strawberry peaked with 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, while cherry lost 0. 2-0. 3.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the sales of five different kinds of jam from 2009 to 2014

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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