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The chart shows the percentage of people attending the cinema once a month or mor by age in Great Britain during the period from 1984 to 2002.

The chart shows the percentage of people attending the cinema once a month or mor by age in Great Britain during the period from 1984 to 2002. Slight increase is seen in years 1984- 1990 in all groups according to different ages. People in age of 15-24 started to attend cinema more than others and over years. The percentage went up two or three times quicker than other categories. The pick of attendance was in the year 1999 and it was almost 60%. Older people of 35 years and over attend cinema less than other groups, even though in the year 2002 this number was much higher than in the previous period. Moreover, children under 14 and adults between 25-34 show approximately the same numbers, even though these numbers fell sharply in 1996. Overall, the attendance f cinema in England grew over this period in all the groups presented.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attending the cinema once a month or mor by age in

Great Britain during the period from 1984 to 2002. Slight increase is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in years 1984- 1990 in all

groups according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in age of 15-24
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to attend cinema more than others

and over years. The percentage went up two or three times quicker than other categories. The pick of

attendance was in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1999 and it was almost 60%. Older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of 35 years and over attend

cinema less than other groups,
even though
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 this number was much higher than in the

previous period.
Moreover
, children under 14 and adults between 25-34
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
approximately the same

numbers,
even though
these numbers fell
sharply
in 1996.
Overall
, the attendance f cinema in England

grew over this period in all the groups presented.

IELTS academic The chart shows the percentage of people attending the cinema once a month or mor by age in Great Britain during the period from 1984 to 2002.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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