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The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn

The diagram illustrates the process in which a solid material (corn) creates alcohol used as ethanol fuel. Overall, it is clear that there are nine stages from picking the corn, adding some water, and separating it so as to produce the ethanol fuel and transport it. Initially, the corn is picked up in order to be stored. Then, the corn is put into a mill, where the process of cooking will be started. In this stage, by adding water to this raw material, the corn is being cooked for 4 hours long. The next stage consists of converting the corn into alcohol by fermenting it for 48 hours. At the sixth stage, the corn is separated to create a by-product, which is solid. The leftover of the solid is a liquid substance that produces the ethanol after decontamination of 5 hours. After this, ethanol fuel is ready to be stored. Finally, the fuel is transported to the companies which use this fuel.
The diagram illustrates the process in which a solid material
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(corn)
creates alcohol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as
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ethanol
fuel.

Overall
, it is
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clear
that there are nine
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stages
from picking the
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corn
, adding
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some
water, and separating it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as to produce the
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ethanol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and transport it.

Initially
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corn
is picked
up in order to
be stored
. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corn
is put
into a mill, where the process of cooking will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. In this
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stage
, by adding water to this raw material, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corn
is
being cooked
for 4 hours long. The
next
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stage
consists of converting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corn
into alcohol by fermenting it for 48 hours.

At the sixth
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stage
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corn
is separated
to create a by-product, which is solid. The leftover of the solid is a liquid substance that produces the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ethanol
after decontamination of 5 hours. After this,
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ethanol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is ready to
be stored
.
Finally
, the
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fuel
is transported
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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