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The chart shows the average money on 3 different types of calling in america between 2004 and 2010

The chart shows the average money on 3 different types of calling in america between 2004 and 2010 K0Ye6
The line graph compares the average money yearly spent on cell phones, national and international services in the USA over a period of 9 years Overall, the amounts of money spent on cell phone service increased, but the opposite was true for the figures of national fixed-line expenditure. In addition, the international fixed-line services seemed to keep stable annually In 2001, the amount of money spent on national services was the highest, at $700, followed by was $200 and $250 at mobile phones and international fixed-line service. Lasting for about 4 years, in 2005, expenditure on cell phones increased considerably from $200 to $400, while the figures were shown for national services dropped to $580. Despite those changes, the amount of money spent on international still didn''t change from 2004 to 2010, at $300. In 2010, it could be seen that the average annual expenditures on call phone services surpassed in the US in 2010, while expenditures on national fixed-line services decreased steadily, accounting for $400. During the same period, there was a stability in the figure for oversea phone cells
The line graph compares the average
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money
yearly
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spent
on
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cell
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phones
,
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national
and
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international
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services
in the USA over a period of 9 years

Overall
, the amounts of
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money
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spent
on
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cell
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phone
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service
increased,
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but
the opposite was true for the figures of
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national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
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expenditure
.
In addition
, the
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international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
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services
seemed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
stable
annually


In 2001, the amount of
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
was the highest, at $700, followed by was $200 and $250 at mobile
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phones
and
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international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
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service
. Lasting for about 4 years, in 2005,
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expenditure
on
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cell
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phones
increased
considerably
from $200 to $400, while the figures
were shown
for
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national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
dropped to $580. Despite those
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changes
, the amount of
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
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international
still
Did you mean "didn't"?
didn'
't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from 2004 to 2010, at $300.

In 2010, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the average annual
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expenditures
on call
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phone
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services
surpassed in the US in 2010, while
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expenditures
on
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national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
-line
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services
decreased
steadily
, accounting for $400. During the same period, there was a stability in the figure for oversea
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phone
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cells
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IELTS academic The chart shows the average money on 3 different types of calling in america between 2004 and 2010

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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