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the number of books are lended in Malton Town Library in Britain in 9002

the number of books are lended in Malton Town Library in Britain in 9002 LGqpp
This graph illustrates the number of books are lended in Malton Town Library in Britain in 9002. Overall, It is shown that the highest number of books are rented in Decebmer, while the least are rested in February. In the first month of 2009 the figure stands at 10 but It was drop markedly in February. After that the trend is grown minimally in March which is followed by noticeable increase reach 13 over the next month. The figure has a slight fluctuation during the next three months. In July the figure is reached 20 which is twofold as high as the one in the first month of the year. Nevertheless an unexpected fall is occurred in September and remains almost steady till the next month. After a marked increase in November, It is Jumped sharply reaches peak of 21 in the last month of 2009.
This graph illustrates the number of books are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lent", the past tense form of the verb 'lend'?
lended
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malton
Town Library in Britain in 9002.
Overall
, It
is shown
that the highest number of books
are rented
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Decebmer
, while the least
are rested
in February.

In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of 2009 the figure stands at 10
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It was drop
markedly
in February.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the trend
is grown
minimally
in March which
is followed
by noticeable increase reach 13 over the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
. The figure has a slight fluctuation during the
next
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
. In July the figure
is reached
20 which is twofold as high as the one in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of the year.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
an unexpected fall
is occurred
in September and remains almost steady till the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
. After a marked increase in November, It
is Jumped
sharply
reaches peak of 21 in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of 2009.
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IELTS academic the number of books are lended in Malton Town Library in Britain in 9002

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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