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the chart shows information on money spent on books in 4 countries between 1995 and 2005

the chart shows information on money spent on books in 4 countries between 1995 and 2005 7w5X
Overall, it is obvious, Germany utilized more many than other countries over ten years period, by contrast, Italy was in the last line From 1995 to 2000, Austria spent the lowest cash on books than the others with increasing from 30 million to 40, However, in that time Germany spent the most amount of money by climb from 80 to 90 million. Furthermore, France rose gradually over 5 years period and caught 60 million dollars. In contrast, Italy start with 50 million, then climbed 55 million cash and finally, in 1999, the quantity of money spent on books decreased, and remain at the same point, which was in 1995 Between 2000 and 2005, again Austria was the highest one by 95 million dollars. However, in Germany spent money on books sharply increased and stayed at 70 million, also France dramatically grew and stoped at nearly 70 million. Although, the money in Italia rose and stand 60 million, as a consequence of this, in Italia the money spent on books was the lowest one.
Overall
, it is obvious, Germany utilized more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
than other countries over ten years period, by contrast, Italy was in the last line

From 1995 to 2000, Austria
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spent
the lowest cash on
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books
than the others with increasing from 30
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million
to 40,
However
, in that time Germany
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spent
the most amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by climb from 80 to 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.
Furthermore
, France rose
gradually
over 5 years period and caught 60
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million
dollars.
In contrast
, Italy
The singular proper name 'Italy' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "starts", "started".
start
with 50
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million
, then climbed 55
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million
cash and
finally
, in 1999, the quantity of
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
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books
decreased, and remain at the same point, which was in 1995

Between 2000 and 2005, again Austria was the highest one by 95
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million
dollars.
However
, in Germany
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spent
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money
on
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books
sharply
increased and stayed at 70
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million
,
also
France
dramatically
grew and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "stopped", the past tense form of the verb 'stop'?
stoped
at
nearly
70
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million
. Although, the
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money
in
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Italia
rose and stand 60
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million
, as a consequence of this, in
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Italia
the
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money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
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books
was the lowest one.
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IELTS academic the chart shows information on money spent on books in 4 countries between 1995 and 2005

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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