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The chart show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year.and

The chart show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year. and E3WDQ
The report compares the proportion of pupils in secondary school in UK how they choose various subjects in the year of 1995 and current year. Overall, RS and Drama subject is disappears in present year and IT subject introduced. However, in another subjects there is a little change. In 1995, more than one fourth was taking history, whereas It decreased to 25% in current year. While, in Geography former students were 21%, and it increased by 23% in this year. Furthermore, 15% pupils taken arts subject, then it decline to 8% at present year. Some change is noticed in these proportion Since the RS subject students was 9% and in Drama 12% in 1995 but instead of this two subjects there is IT subject introduced which is 27%. Lastly, Business percentage remain constant 16%. The highest proportion has IT subject from all subjects.
The report compares the proportion of pupils in secondary school in UK how they choose various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1995 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
year.

Overall
, RS and Drama
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subject
is disappears in present
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year
and IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
introduced.
However
, in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In 1995, more than one fourth was taking history, whereas It decreased to 25% in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. While, in Geography former students were 21%, and it increased by 23% in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Furthermore
, 15% pupils taken arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, then it
Did you mean "declines"?
decline
to 8% at present year.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is noticed
in these proportion Since the RS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
students was 9% and in Drama 12% in 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
of this two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
there is IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
introduced which is 27%.
Lastly
, Business percentage remain constant 16%. The highest proportion has IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
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IELTS academic The chart show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year. and

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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