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the chart represents the global sales of different digital games from 2000 to 2006

the chart represents the global sales of different digital games from 2000 to 2006 p1Oxm
The bar chart represents the sales for various types of electronic games in a billion dollars around the world from 2000 to 2006. Overall, the use of handheld games tops the chart from the beginning and console games use dropped over the period. The mobile games and online games were introduced after 2000 and showed increase in the sales by the end of the time period. In 2000 only two types of digital games were there in the market (handheld and console games). Handheld games had about $11 billion sales in 2000 whereas console games had almost $6 billion. The sales for handheld games started to increase over the years which crossed $18 billion sales in the final year. On the other hand console games sales drooped nearly to half of its sales from 2000 by the end of the time period. In 2001, online games came into the market for the first time and about $1 billion was gained by selling them. In 2002 mobile phone games were launched and they were sold about double than the online games for its first year sales. Then the sales for these two games started to increase steadily bringing down the sales for console games. In 2003 the sales for mobile games overtook the online games by a minor number of selling but in the year 2004 both of these games were sold nearly equal. By the end of the time period sales for online games overtook the mobile games by making upto $9 billion whereas mobile games sales was approximately $7 billion.
The bar chart represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for various types of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in a
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billion
dollars around the world from 2000 to 2006.

Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of handheld
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games
tops the chart from the beginning and
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console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
dropped over the period. The mobile
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games
and
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were introduced
after 2000 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period.

In 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two types of digital
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games
were there in the market (handheld and
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console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games)
. Handheld
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games
had about $11
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2000 whereas
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console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had almost $6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for handheld
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase over the years which crossed $18
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in the final
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year
.
On the other hand
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console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
drooped
nearly
to half of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
from 2000 by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period. In 2001,
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online
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games
came into the market for the
first
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time
and about $1
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billion
was gained
by selling them. In 2002 mobile phone
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games
were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
launched and
they
were sold
about
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for its
first
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year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for these two
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games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase
steadily
bringing down the
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sales
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In 2003 the
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sales
for mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
overtook the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
by a minor number of selling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
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year
2004 both of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were sold
nearly
equal. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
overtook the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
by making
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
$9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
whereas mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
was approximately $7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
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IELTS academic the chart represents the global sales of different digital games from 2000 to 2006

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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