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the chart of surveys for the main reason for using phones in school

the chart of surveys for the main reason for using phones in school QK6J3
The pie chart illustrates the results of questionnare in an African country asking teenagers about the reasons for using phones between the period of 2016 and 2019. Overall, the reasons was not changed a lot until 2019 and teenagers tent to using their phones searching social networks. The reason for using phones for social networks reported was the highest(from 48% to 51% in 2017, 2016 and 2018). More and more teenagers used their phones for social networks while the proportion of this reason was up to 56%. In 2016, the main reasons for teenagers in this country using their phone for phone calls was 10%, it was up to 13% in 2017, dropped again 11% in 2018, and plummetted into just 5% in 2019. The percentage of opinion poll which answered that digital camera was 15% in both 2016 and 2017. It went up to 18% in 2018 and rose to 20% in 2019. And for the last reason that was email was decreased from 2016 to 2019(25%, 24%, 20% and 19% for 4 years) In conclusion, teenagers tent to use their phones for social networks as it was really comfortable.
The pie chart illustrates the results of
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questionnare
in an African country asking
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teenagers
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
between the period of 2016 and 2019.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot until 2019 and
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teenagers
tent to using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks reported was the highest(from 48% to 51% in 2017, 2016 and 2018). More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks while the proportion of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
was up to 56%. In 2016, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in this country using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
calls was 10%, it was up to 13% in 2017, dropped again 11% in 2018, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
plummetted
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5% in 2019. The percentage of opinion poll which answered that digital camera was 15% in both 2016 and 2017. It went up to 18% in 2018 and rose to 20% in 2019. And for the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that was email
was decreased
from 2016 to 2019(25%, 24%, 20% and 19% for 4 years)

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
tent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks as it was
really
comfortable.
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IELTS academic the chart of surveys for the main reason for using phones in school

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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