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The chart below shows the level of employment in different sectors of the UK economy from 1910 until 2010.

The chart below shows the level of employment in different sectors of the UK economy from 1910 until 2010. K3513
The bar chart provides information about how many people have been employed across five different sectors in England between 1910 and 2010. Overall, the services industry had experienced an upward trend for the last twenty years and employed numerous people at the end of the period. In contrast, fewer people worked in the other three sectors in 2010. In terms of the services industry, there was a significant increase each year from 1910 until 2010. As a result this growing company had the highest number of employees in 2010, which increased by over two five times compared to the first year (4 versus 21 millions). Manufacturing, which possessed the greatest employees in the beginning of the period, demonstrated a rapid rise until it peaked in 1950 before being in decline under five percent in 2010. With regard to agriculture and energy and construction industries, those companies had not faced a significant change for the period given, which was around 2 and 3 millions respectively in 1910 and below than two million in 2010.
The bar chart provides information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
been employed
across five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors in England between 1910 and 2010.

Overall
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "services'" or "service's"?
services
industry had experienced an upward trend for the last twenty years and employed numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
In contrast
, fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worked in the other three sectors in 2010.

In terms of the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "services'" or "service's"?
services
industry, there was a significant increase each year from 1910 until 2010.
As a result
this growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
had the highest number of employees in 2010, which increased by over two five times compared to the
first
year (4 versus 21 millions).

Manufacturing, which possessed the greatest employees in the beginning of the period, demonstrated a rapid rise until it peaked in 1950
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being in decline under five percent in 2010.

With regard to agriculture and energy and construction industries, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
had not faced a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, which was around 2 and 3 millions
respectively
in 1910 and
Use "(below)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
below
than two million in 2010.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the level of employment in different sectors of the UK economy from 1910 until 2010.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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