Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that children should study with traditional education which occurs at school with teachers.

Some people believe that children should study with traditional education which occurs at school with teachers. 0ayY3
Some people believe that children should study with traditional education which occurs at school with teachers. However, others think that computers and the internet are also necessary for the study of a child. In my opinion, whereas computers and the internet support more significantly, schools and teachers is still the most important for a child’s education. Admitted, there are many benefits computers and the internet bring to students. For example, students can review their lessons taught on classes at home. Also, if they have suddenly problems making them absenting from their classes such as a sick, it is possible for them to study later. Moreover, the hi-tech can help their preparing lessons become easier and more flexible. They can connect with their friends in any place and on any time and discuss their lessons together without going out their houses. However, schools and teachers have still the most important roles for the study of children. When students go to schools, they will have more opportunities to practice their social skills as working in parts, which is frequently necessary for their study and their work in the future. Furthermore, the more they interact with one others, the more they create their relationships. Because when meeting a person, they can realize his behaviors, and as result, they can understand and treat a person with the way which is suitable with his behaviors. As a consequence, their relationships can be more sustainable. In conclusion, both children’s study with technological means and traditional education have many advantages. However, I believe schools and teachers are essential for children to learn effectively because this method does not only teach children knowledge but also support their social skills and improve their relationships.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with traditional education which occurs at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that computers and the internet are
also
necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of a child. In my opinion, whereas computers and the internet support more
significantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is
still
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a child’s education. Admitted, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits computers and the internet bring to students.
For example
, students can review their lessons taught on classes at home.
Also
, if they have
suddenly
problems making them absenting from their classes such as a sick, it is possible for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
later.
Moreover
, the hi-tech can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their preparing lessons become easier and more flexible. They can connect with their friends in any place and on any time and discuss their lessons together without going out their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
still
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When students go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, they will have more opportunities to practice their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as working in parts, which is
frequently
necessary for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and their work in the future.
Furthermore
, the more they interact with
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one other", "an other", or simply "others"?
one others
, the more they create their relationships.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when meeting a person, they can realize his behaviors, and as result, they can understand and treat a person with the way which is suitable with his behaviors. As a consequence, their relationships can be more sustainable.
In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with technological means and traditional education have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
However
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this method does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
support their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their relationships.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Some people believe that children should study with traditional education which occurs at school with teachers.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    describe your way to relax
    I am a fresh man and I have many problems with studying and exams so I often feel stressed and need to relax. One of my most favourite ways to relax is listening to music. After classes, I usually lie in my downy bed and turn on my favourite songs. I often listen to pop music and instrumental music....
  • 6.5band
    5. 5 yarimdan is a boy or a girl in the world of a children's charity in the
    The prediction of line graph shows data about the percentage of people who aged 65 and over, over a century from to 1940 to 2040 in three various countries. Overall, it can be seen that all the proportion of seniors is far lower than the future results. Despite showing the lowest results, it is est...
  • 6band
    The chart below shows the level of employment in different sectors of the UK economy from 1910 until 2010.
    The bar chart provides information about how many people have been employed across five different sectors in England between 1910 and 2010. Overall, the services industry had experienced an upward trend for the last twenty years and employed numerous people at the end of the period. In contrast, fe...
  • 5.5band
    The maps show changes the Happy Vally Shopping center from 1982 to 2012
    The two maps show the main changes which took place in the Happy Vally Shopping center between the year 1982 and 2012. In general, it appears that Happy Vally Shopping center became a much more modern center, with Furniture Retail and entertainment facilities. One interesting change is that in 1982,...
  • 5.5band
    The below picture shows the stages of renewing the glass bottles.
    The flow chart illustrates three main stages that are involved in recycling the glass bottles starting with collecting of waste glass bottles, recycling them and ending with producing new products that are available for sale. Overall, these three stages are further divided into 10 steps that comple...
  • 6.5band
    The bar chart provides information on the percentage of overweight or obese adults
    The bar chart provides information on the percentage of overweight or obese adults in one country from 1965 to 2015, whereas the pie chart provides data on the adult population's weight range in 2015. It is clear from the bar chart that the percentage of overweight or obese adults increased between...