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The chart illustrates the percentage of money spent on 3 items in different countries in the year 2008.

The chart illustrates the percentage of money spent on 3 items in different countries in the year 2008. xD9P1
The chart illustrates the percentage of money spent on 3 items in different countries in the year 2008. Overall, it is clear that while the proportion of spending on Fast food/ Drinks was the highest, the opposite was true for Leisure activities/ Education in all 4 countries. It is also notable that China was the country which had its citizens spend most of their expenditure on Fast food/ Drinks and Shoes/ Watches. According to the given data, the figure for spending on Fast food/ Drinks in China accounted for the highest, at 28, 91%, roughly twice as high as that in Vietnam (15, 77%). Whereas, Japan was the second top country that consumed this item, with 16, 36%. This was followed by Thailand, at 16, 36%. Besides, Shoes/ Watches was the most popular in China, at 16, 23%. Thailand, Japan and Vietnam had an equal percentage of money which was spent on Shoes/ Watches, with 5, 93%; 5, 51% and 5, 4% respectively. The proportion of expenditure on Leisure activities/ Education in Thailand ( 3, 2%) was roughly similar to that in Vietnam (3, 22%). Whereas, Only 1, 98% of money spent in Japan and the figure for China was slightly higher, with 2, 21%.
The chart illustrates the percentage of money spent on 3 items in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the year 2008.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that while the proportion of spending on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
food/ Drinks was the highest, the opposite was true for Leisure activities/ Education in all 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is
also
notable that China was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which had its citizens spend most of their expenditure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
food/ Drinks and Shoes/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Watches
.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, the figure for spending on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
food/ Drinks in China accounted for the highest, at 28, 91%, roughly twice as high as that in Vietnam (15, 77%). Whereas, Japan was the second top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that consumed this item, with 16, 36%. This
was followed
by Thailand, at 16, 36%.
Besides
, Shoes/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Watches
was the most popular in China, at 16, 23%. Thailand, Japan and Vietnam had an equal percentage of money which
was spent
on Shoes/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Watches
, with 5, 93%; 5, 51% and 5, 4%
respectively
.

The proportion of expenditure on Leisure activities/ Education in Thailand

Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
3, 2%) was roughly similar to that in Vietnam (3, 22%). Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
1, 98% of money spent in Japan and the figure for China was
slightly
higher, with 2, 21%.

IELTS academic The chart illustrates the percentage of money spent on 3 items in different countries in the year 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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