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the table shows students enrolment at Manchester university in 1937, 1967,2017

the table shows students enrolment at Manchester university in 1937, 1967, 2017 NMx6N
the table compares the information of the studying registration of new students in Manchester university during the years 1937, 1967, 2017. Overall, there was a significant growth in the number of students, of which the percentage of students enrolling came form within 40 miles of Manchester was dramatical fall. While the figure of oversea students as noticeable considered. In detail, Manchester university received alone 327 students in 1937, surprisingly developed to 6254 in 2017, nearly 6 times higher than that in 1967. There was a minor change between the percentage of female students and their male peers throughout the years. Although female accounted 45%, was less than male in 1937. This comparison appeared counter-intuitive in 2017 with 55% for the former the the latter was 45%. The table also shows a widespread expansion of the university in three years from a domestic-ranked to international school, for the enrolment of oversea students ranged between 6% in 1937 and 32% in 2017. Whereas the figure for national students fell down in 1967 before reaching bottom at 1-2% in 2017.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
table compares the information of the studying registration of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Manchester university during the years 1937, 1967, 2017.

Overall
, there was a significant growth in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, of which the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolling came form within
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
40 miles
of Manchester was
Possible spelling mistake found.
dramatical
fall. While the figure of oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as noticeable considered.

In detail, Manchester university received alone 327
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 1937,
surprisingly
developed to 6254 in 2017,
nearly
6 times higher than that in 1967.

There was a minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
between the percentage of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their male peers throughout the years. Although female accounted 45%, was less than male in 1937. This comparison appeared counter-intuitive in 2017 with 55% for the former
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
latter was 45%.

The table
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a widespread expansion of the university in three years from a domestic-ranked to international school, for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ranged between 6% in 1937 and 32% in 2017. Whereas the figure for national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
fell down in 1967
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching bottom at 1-2% in 2017.
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IELTS academic the table shows students enrolment at Manchester university in 1937, 1967, 2017

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
177 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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