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The chart illustrates the amount of sales various kinds of digital games made from 2000 to 2006 globally. Units are given in $bn.

The chart illustrates the amount of sales various kinds of digital games made from 2000 to 2006 globally. Units are given in $bn. Vy5rm
Overall, handheld games and console games were the first ones, handheld grew steadily whereas Console games declined. Mobile and online games started in 2001 and 2002 respectively and saw a tremendous increase. Console games saw a fall in its global sales to around half from where they were at just under 6$bn in 2000 to around 3$bn in 2006. Handheld gaming had a steady growth, starting from almost 11$bn to finishing just under 18$bn in 2006. Starting in 2001, online games saw a 10 times increase in their sales globally with their final year sales at around 10$bn. Mobile gaming starting growing in 2002 and was neck to neck with online games in 2004 after which it increased more than online gaming in the following year to end at just around 7$bn in the final year.
Overall
, handheld
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games
and console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were the
first
ones, handheld grew
steadily
whereas Console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
declined. Mobile and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 2001 and 2002
respectively
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a tremendous increase.

Console
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games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fall in its global sales to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
half from where they were at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$6".
6$
bn in 2000 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$3".
3$
bn in 2006. Handheld gaming had a steady growth, starting from almost
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$11".
11$
bn to finishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$18".
18$
bn in 2006.

Starting in 2001,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a 10 times increase in their sales globally with their final year sales at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$10".
10$
bn. Mobile gaming starting growing in 2002 and was neck to neck with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in 2004 after which it increased more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
gaming in the following year to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$7".
7$
bn in the final year.
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IELTS academic The chart illustrates the amount of sales various kinds of digital games made from 2000 to 2006 globally. Units are given in $bn.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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