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The chart illustrated the figure of male and female who smoked cigarettes in Australia. Overall, men always accounted higher number than women in each years.

The chart illustrated the figure of male and female who smoked cigarettes in Australia. Overall, men always accounted higher number than women in each years. rGx1J
The chart illustrated the figure of male and female who smoked cigarettes in Australia. Overall, men always accounted higher number than women in each years. About men, the number of male who smoked was 6 millions people in 1960, the highest number. Whereas in 1995, the figure of men that smoked cigarettes was under 3 millions people, much more lower than the number in 1960. From1960 to1980, the quantity of smoker was fall rapidly. In 1965, the figure of men who smoked was under 6 millions. The number went down slightly, which accounted for over 5 millions in 1970. In the year 1975, the quantity of male smoker was higher than that in 1980, which accounted for over 4 millions and 4 millions, respectively. There were 4 millions smoker in 1985, similar to the number of male smoker in 1980. The figure fall slowly in next ten years, from 1985 to 1995. In 1990, the quantity of male who smoked was over 3 millions people, while it was under 3 millions people in 1995. However, the number of man smoked cigarettes was increase in 2000, reached 3 millions people. Turning into female, the lowest number of women that smoked cigarettes was 1 millions people in 1960, whereas the figure was under 4 millions people in 1975. In 1965, the quantity of female smoker was under 2 millions. The number of smoker was 2 millions in 1970, and from 1970 to 1975, it increased sharply, which accounted for over 3 millions. But from 1975 to 2000, the figure went down slightly. In the year 1980, the quantity of woman who smoked was 3 millions and similar to the number in 1985. There were under 3 millions female smoker in 1990. The quantity went down about 2 millions in 1995. In 2000, the number of smoker was 2 millions people.
The chart illustrated the
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figure
of male and
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
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smoked
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cigarettes
in Australia.
Overall
,
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men
always
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accounted
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
than women in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "year"?
years
.

About
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men
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
was 6
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millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1960, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
. Whereas in 1995, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
was under 3
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millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, much
Use only "lower" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more lower
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 1960. From1960 to1980, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of smoker was fall
rapidly
. In 1965, the
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figure
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
was under 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
went down
slightly
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1970. In the year 1975, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of male smoker was higher than that in 1980, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
and 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
,
respectively
. There were 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
smoker in 1985, similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male smoker in 1980. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
fall
slowly
in
next
ten years, from 1985 to 1995. In 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
3
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millions
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people
, while it was under 3
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millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1995.
However
, the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
was increase in 2000, reached 3
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millions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Turning into
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female
, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of women that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
was 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1960, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was under 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1975. In 1965, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
smoker was under 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of smoker was 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1970, and from 1970 to 1975, it increased
sharply
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
from 1975 to 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
went down
slightly
. In the year 1980, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
of woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoked
was 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
and similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 1985. There were under 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
smoker in 1990. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quantity
went down about 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1995. In 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of smoker was 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The chart illustrated the figure of male and female who smoked cigarettes in Australia. Overall, men always accounted higher number than women in each years.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart illustrated the figure of male and female who smoked cigarettes in Australia. Overall, men always accounted higher number than women in each years.