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The diagram illustrates the work of special tool called Global Positioning System

The diagram illustrates the work of special tool called Global Positioning System AwqPL
The diagram illustrates the work of special tool called Global Positioning System which is used by people for finding their location on Earth. In generally, Global Positioning System includes the space, the control and the user segments. First of all, there is the space segment which includes 24 satellites orbiting our planet one time for every 12 hours at a distance of nearly 20, 000 km. Each satellite is made up with solar panels in order to provide energy, antennae which is used for transmitting and receiving data. Moreover, there is atomic clock on satellite with the help of which time is kept precising. Secondly, the turn goes to the control segment. It comprises the radar and the control center. The radar is located at monitor stations for eliciting modifications and transferring information to the control center. In turn the control center delivers monitor station data to the satellites, which hand over this information to users of Global Position System. The last but not least is the user segment. Firstly, satellites transfer coded data included with exact location and time of transfer. Secondly, there is the hand held receiver responsible for calculating the distance in the way of estimating the difference between the time of transmission of the message and the time of its receiving. Furthermore, receiver calculates exact position by gauging the distance from four satellites. After measuring, users receive their location on the Earth.
The diagram illustrates the work of special tool called Global Positioning System which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for finding their location on Earth. In
generally
, Global Positioning System includes the space, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
segments.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is the space segment which includes 24 satellites orbiting our planet one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for every 12 hours at a distance of
nearly
20, 000 km. Each satellite
is made
up with solar panels in order to provide energy, antennae which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for transmitting and receiving data.
Moreover
, there is atomic clock on satellite with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
'precising' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "précising"
precising
.

Secondly
, the turn goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
segment. It comprises the radar and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
center. The radar
is located
at monitor stations for eliciting modifications and transferring information to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
center. In turn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
center delivers monitor station data to the satellites, which hand over this information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
of Global Position System.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
segment.
Firstly
, satellites transfer coded data included with exact location and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of transfer.
Secondly
, there is the hand held receiver responsible for calculating the distance in the way of estimating the difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of transmission of the message and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of its receiving.
Furthermore
, receiver calculates exact position by gauging the distance from four satellites. After measuring,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
receive their location on the Earth.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the work of special tool called Global Positioning System

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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