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the chart gives information abot the total number of in minutes of telephone calls in the UK

the chart gives information abot the total number of in minutes of telephone calls in the UK raXMp
The chart gives information about the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, which divided into three categories from 1955 to 2002. The local fixed line was increased from 1995 to 1999 (approximately 72 billions minute to 90 billions minute), then slightly decline. In 1995 the national and international fixed line was at approximately 38 billions minute and it was constant increased, in 2002 it was reached 62 billions minute. There was a theatrical increase in mobile calls from 2 billions minute to 47 billions minute in time period of 8 years. It is evident that the local fixed line was most used in 2002. The gap between the three categories had narrowed considerably over the second half of the time period in question.
The chart gives information about the total number of minutes (in
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billions)
of telephone calls in the UK, which divided into three categories from 1955 to 2002.

The local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line
was increased
from 1995 to 1999 (approximately 72
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billions
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minute
to 90
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billions
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minute)
, then
slightly
decline. In 1995 the national and international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line was at approximately 38
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billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
and it was constant increased, in 2002 it
was reached
62
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
. There was a theatrical increase in mobile calls from 2
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billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
to 47
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minute
in time period of 8 years.

It is evident that the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line was most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 2002. The gap between the three categories had narrowed
considerably
over the second half of the time period in question.
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IELTS academic the chart gives information abot the total number of in minutes of telephone calls in the UK

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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