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Table show the family living in poverty in Australia in year 1999

Table show the family living in poverty in Australia in year 1999 1kyG7
The table illustrates the families living in poverty in Australia in 1999 and with the proportion of different categories. Overall the couple with children have the highest proportion of people and have less percentage solo parents had highest percentage but less people than the couple with children and single for no children. In the first three family types of single person, couple and single no children. The former had 6% with 54000 of people then the second aged couple had 48000 people with four percentage of proportion of people from each household. The latter had 19% with 359000 people. The role of household had total 1837000 people with 11 % who were lived in poverty. The 7% of the proportion was couple no children with 2 lakh 11000 people. That 232000 people were soul parents with the highest percentage which is 21 the percentage of couple with children was 12% and 933000 people from this household type.
The table illustrates the families living in poverty in Australia in 1999 and with the
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proportion
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories.

Overall
the
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couple
with
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children
have the highest
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proportion
of
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people
and have less
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percentage
solo parents had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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percentage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
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people
than the
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couple
with
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children
and single for no children.

In the
first
three family types of single person,
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couple
and single no
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children
. The former had 6% with 54000 of
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people
then the second aged
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couple
had 48000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with four
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from each household. The latter had 19% with 359000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
role of household had total 1837000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with 11 % who were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in poverty.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
7% of the
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proportion
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with 2 lakh 11000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. That 232000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were soul parents with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
which is 21 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
was 12% and 933000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from this household type.
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IELTS academic Table show the family living in poverty in Australia in year 1999

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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