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The diagram about nutrients intake

The diagram about nutrients intake KV5PN
The charts illustrate the percentage of everyday ingestion of various nutritions that the average person in the United States in each food. The nutrients that are compared in these diagrams are sodium, saturated fat and added sugar. These nutritional elements maybe not be healthy if eaten too much. Overall, it can be seen that the highest percentage of sodium is consumed during dinner and its the highest number among all these nutrients. As per the visualization, it's found that the intake of nutrition during breakfast are negligible. The 42% of added sugar is consumed by the personal with snacks, however, during breakfast and lunch, the consumption of the sweet is less than 20%. On recapitulating, It identified that nutritional elements consumptions are high during dinner time. This may affect their health as well as people's wellness.
The charts illustrate the percentage of everyday ingestion of various
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
that the average person in the United States in each food. The nutrients that
are compared
in these diagrams are sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar. These nutritional elements maybe not be healthy if eaten too much.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the highest percentage of sodium
is consumed
during dinner and
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
the highest number among all these nutrients. As per the visualization, it's found that the intake of nutrition during breakfast are negligible.

The 42% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar
is consumed
by the personal with snacks,
however
, during breakfast and lunch, the consumption of the sweet is less than 20%.

On recapitulating, It identified that nutritional elements
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
are high during dinner time. This may affect their health
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's wellness.

IELTS academic The diagram about nutrients intake

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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