Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart gives data about the differences in the annual number of men and women

The chart gives data about the differences in the annual number of men and women LL9g6
The chart gives data about the differences in the annual number of men and women of three age groups who suffer from heart attacks in the USA. It is clear that as people grow older, the risk for heart attack increases; and it can also be seen from the chart that heart attacks often happen to men rather than women. At the age of 29 to 44, 123 thousand female patients have heart attacks, while the figure for women is only 3 thousand. Remarkably, from 45 to 64 years old, there are 424 thousand men who undergo heart attacks and 136 thousand was the number of women suffering from the same medical situation. 440 thousand men are recorded to have heart attacks when they reach 65 or higher while the figure for women of the same age is only 374 thousand.
The chart gives data about the differences in the annual number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women

of three age groups who suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attacks
in the USA. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that as

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
grow older, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attack
increases; and it can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from

the chart that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
happen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
rather
than women.

At the age of 29 to 44, 123 thousand female patients have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attacks
, while the

figure for women is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3 thousand.
Remarkably
, from 45 to 64 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, there are

424 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who undergo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attacks
and 136 thousand was the number of

women suffering from the same medical situation.

440 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are recorded
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attacks
when they reach 65 or higher

while the figure for women of the same age is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
374 thousand.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart gives data about the differences in the annual number of men and women

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The chart gives data about the differences in the annual number of men and women