Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the chart below shows the retirement age for men and women in various countries. The table shows the life expectancy in each of those countries.

the chart below shows the retirement age for men and women in various countries. The table shows the life expectancy in each of those countries. Nw77q
The given bar graph compares the age of retirement of men and women in five different countries, while the table provides information about how long they live (on average) in each of these countries. Overall, it is apparent that the two nations with the most life expectancy also have a higher age of retirement. As for the gender, in some countries women retire earlier than men; however, in others both the genders retire at the same age. In terms of the retirement age, Americans work the longest and both the genders retire at 66, followed by Japan where people retire at the age of 64. Indian men and women also retire at the same age, that is, 63. In the other two nations, however, women retire earlier than their male counterparts. Brazilian males retire at the same age as that of Japanese citizens, while the women retire at 62. The difference among the ages is the largest for Russia where female workers retire at 56, while the male workers have a retirement age of 61. As for the average number of years that people live, Japan has the highest figure among all, which is 84. 3 years. The other two nations where people live over 75 years are the USA and Brazil, where the average life expectancies are 78. 4 and 75. 9 respectively. India on the other hand has the least life expectancy of 70. 8.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, while the table provides information about how long they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
(on average) in each of these countries.

Overall
, it is apparent that the two nations with the most life expectancy
also
have a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. As for the gender, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
earlier than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
;
however
, in others both the genders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at the same age.

In terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, Americans work the longest and both the genders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at 66, followed by Japan where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 64. Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
that is
, 63. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two nations,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
earlier than their male counterparts. Brazilian males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as that of Japanese citizens, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at 62. The difference among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
is the largest for Russia where female workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
at 56, while the male workers have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 61.

As for the average number of years that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, Japan has the highest figure among all, which is 84. 3 years. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two nations where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
over 75 years are the USA and Brazil, where the average life expectancies are 78. 4 and 75. 9
respectively
. India on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand has the least life expectancy of 70. 8.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the chart below shows the retirement age for men and women in various countries. The table shows the life expectancy in each of those countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Average Australian home and greenhouse emissions
    The two pie charts shows how energy is utilized in an average Australian home and the greenhouse gas emissions. There are 6 categories (heating, water heating, refrigeration, cooling, lighting and other appliances). It is clear that heating ranks number one at 42% and followed by water heating 30% ...
  • 6band
    sales of dvds, games software and cds over the years
    The given bar chart signifies how sales in billion dollars have changed for CDs, DVDs and games software over period 2000 to 2003. X-axis denotes the years with the scale gap of one year, whereas Y-axis denotes the sales in $billions with scale gap of $10billions. Bars with blue denotes games softwa...
  • 5band
    Manufacturing instant noodles. Summarize the information and main features, make comparisons
    The diagram provides the multi-stages of manufacturing instant noodles. Overall, it is apparent that there are eight stages which need to be followed thoroughly, otherwise, the process will remain incomplete. To begin with, the flour is stored in the storage silos. Then the flour is mixed up with ...
  • 6band
    Map showing changes in a town
    The two maps illustrates the significant changes which the town of Kimsville has been experienced lately, between the year 2002 and today. Overall, It apears that Kimsville has been experienced slight modernizations indeed there’re more transportation and entertainment facilities available besides ...
  • 6.5band
    Survey about the full time and part-time students
    The charts depict information regarding results of a survey conducted in a library to find out the opinion of full time and part-time students about its services. To sum up, more students were satisfied with opening hours services than It services. It is clearly visible that with It service vast M...
  • 6band
    The two maps compare the improvement to the ground floor plan of a university department in two separate years of 2000 and 2015
    The two maps compare the improvement to the ground floor plan of a university department in two separate years of 2000 and 2015 Overall, it is clear that the main building went through some renovation and extension over the course of the years, whereas various amenities were also inserted to the dep...