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The Chart Below Shows the Results of a Survey About People’s Coffee and Tea

The Chart Below Shows the Results of a Survey About People’s Coffee and Tea wOGnN
The line graph depicted the different consumption of coffee and tea in five Australian cities and their drinking routines. Overall, the percentage of Australian citizens enjoyed tea or coffee at the coffee shop was much higher than the amount of purchased fresh coffee at all cities. On the other hand, the expenditure of these beverage in Adelaide was the lowest in this group. Above 45% of citizens in Sydney and Melbourne had a habit of buying instant coffee, whereas the proportions of those purchasing fresh coffee in these two cities were around 44% and 43% respectively. Meanwhile, more than 60% of people of these cities went to café for coffee or tea, which was almost similar to the city of Hobart’s. Moving on to the remaining cities, at around 50%, the percentage of residents had the habit of buying instant coffee, in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart was 2 times as much as that of people buying fresh coffee. Moreover, there are 55% of Brisbane’s people liked to go to cafe for coffee or tea, followed by Adelaide at 39%.
The line graph depicted the
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different
consumption of
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coffee
and
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tea
in five Australian
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cities
and their drinking routines.

Overall
, the percentage of Australian citizens enjoyed
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tea
or
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coffee
at the
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coffee
shop was much higher than the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
fresh
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coffee
at all
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cities
.
On the other hand
, the expenditure of
Did you mean "this beverage" or "these beverages"?
these beverage
in Adelaide was the lowest in this group.

Above 45% of citizens in Sydney and Melbourne had a habit of buying instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, whereas the proportions of those purchasing fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in these two
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cities
were around 44% and 43%
respectively
. Meanwhile, more than 60% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
went to café for
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coffee
or
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tea
, which was almost similar to the city of Hobart’s.

Moving on to the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, at around 50%, the percentage of residents had the habit of buying instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart was 2 times as much as that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
buying fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
.
Moreover
, there are 55% of Brisbane’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
liked to go to
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
, followed by Adelaide at 39%.

IELTS academic The Chart Below Shows the Results of a Survey About People’s Coffee and Tea

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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