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The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010.

The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010. k5EmW
The bar diagram illustrates the ratio of two genders such as male and female who do physical activity in 2010 in Malaysia, comprising the six different age groups. Overall, it is apparent from the chart that the male of aged 15-24 showed the highest percentage who exercised regularly, whereas the proportion of aged 35 to 33 was highly interested in doing physical activities compared to all age groups. Regarding male, more than two quarters of male aged 15-24 had exercised which was more by 10% than that of aged 25 to 34. Approximately 40% of folks aged 35 to 44 have done physical activity Following this, the remaining three age groups were accounted between 40% and 50%. Turning to female, just under 50% of people aged 15-24 exercise regularly. Similarly, the lowest figure can be observed for the age group 35 to 44. Likewise, a little more than 40% masses of age 25 to 34 did physical activity. The most noticeable point is that the same proportion of male and female aged 65 and over had done physical activity.
The bar diagram illustrates the ratio of two genders such as male and female who do
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in 2010 in Malaysia, comprising the six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
groups.

Overall
, it is apparent from the chart that the male of
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aged
15-24
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the highest percentage who exercised
regularly
, whereas the proportion of
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aged
35 to 33 was
highly
interested in doing
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physical
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activities
compared to all
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age
groups.

Regarding male, more than two quarters of male
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aged
15-24 had exercised which was more by 10% than that of
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aged
25 to 34. Approximately 40% of folks
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aged
35 to 44 have done
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physical
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activity
Following this, the remaining three
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age
groups
were accounted
between 40% and 50%.

Turning to female,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 50% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
15-24 exercise
regularly
.
Similarly
, the lowest figure can
be observed
for the
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age
group 35 to 44.
Likewise
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than 40% masses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
25 to 34 did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. The most noticeable point is that the same proportion of male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
65 and over had done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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