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Converting apple into storage apple pices diagram

Converting apple into storage apple pices diagram 11PgG
Task 1 The diagram explains the manufacturing process of converting apple into storage in pieces of apples There 14th steps in the process, beginning with hand picking apples and ending in delivery. To begin, there are collected by in some places then transported in factories or industry. The next step, it is cleaned by machines and according to then checked the quality The following step, it has cold storage and there are done to weighning, peeling and cut slicing to small pieces by factory's equipment. Furthermore, it is filled into an air tight container and sealed it. Last step, It is ready for cooking, labelling and storage and ready for despatched. To conclude, it can be seen that before getting converted into storage apple pieces, apple passes through different stages.
Task 1

The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the manufacturing process of converting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
in pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apples
There 14th
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steps
in the process, beginning with
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hand picking
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apples
and ending in delivery.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there
are collected
by in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places then transported in factories or industry. The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, it
is cleaned
by machines and according to then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
the quality The following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
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storage
and there
are done
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
weighning
, peeling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
slicing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pieces by factory's equipment.
Furthermore
, it
is filled
into an air tight container and sealed it. Last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, It is ready for cooking, labelling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
and ready for despatched.

To conclude
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting converted into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
storage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
pieces,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apple
passes through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages.

IELTS academic Converting apple into storage apple pices diagram

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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