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Public park in 1920 and the same park today

Public park in 1920 and the same park today Q8nGL
The two maps depict the infrastructure of old Grange park which was first inaugurated at 1920, and it's current form. Overall, It is clear that the radically changes is on redevelopment of stages to concerts theatre and accumulating one rose garden from two, and it is placed at the center of the park. Further additions were water feature and children's play area. Grange park in 1920, The fountain was located at center of the park and parallelly, the stage for musicians was at the east of foundation. There were three rose gardens two were at the either side to the north and south of stage and one was at the north of glasshouse which is located at south-east of the fountain. At present, The significant attraction is at the center area called rose garden replaced by fountain and it is surrounded with seating area. On the other hand, Musician stage is demolished due to the introduction of amphitheater for concerts. However, the north rose garden which is at west of entrance remains still. Eventually, ponds of water plant is converted to children's play area and water feature has added by removing glasshouse.
The two maps depict the infrastructure of
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old
Grange
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park
which was
first
inaugurated at 1920, and it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
form.

Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
radically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
is on redevelopment of
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stages
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "concert".
concerts
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and accumulating one
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rose
garden from two, and it
is placed


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
the center of the
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park
.
Further
additions were water feature and children's play area.

Grange
The singular proper name 'Grange' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "parks", "parked".
park
in 1920, The fountain
was located
at center of the
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park
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
parallelly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
for musicians was at the east of foundation. There were three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
gardens


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
two
were at the either side to the north and south of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
and one was at the north of glasshouse which
is located
at south-east of the fountain.

At present, The significant attraction is at the center area called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
garden replaced by fountain and it
is surrounded
with seating area.
On the other hand
,

Musician
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
is demolished
due to the introduction of amphitheater for concerts.
However
, the north
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
garden which is at west of entrance remains
still
.

Eventually
, ponds of water plant
is converted
to children's play area and water feature has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
by removing glasshouse.
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IELTS academic Public park in 1920 and the same park today

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
192 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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