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The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. v.4

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. v. 4
The column graph compares the male and female teachers’ ratio in six different levels of educational institutions in the United Kingdom in 2010. As an overall trend, colleges and universities in the UK had more male lecturers while more female teachers were employed in lowers grades. As can be seen from the diagram, the ratio of female instructors in the UK in 2010 was quite higher in the nursery and elementary levels as their percentage was around 90%. The female academics in secondary level was just above the half while an exact ratio of male and female lecturers could be observed in colleges. A contrasting scenario was visible in universities and private training institutes as male teachers dominated these two educational settings. In university level, 3 females were employed against 7 male mentors while this ratio was 4 by 5 in private institutes who provided training courses. In summary, male teachers in the UK was higher in numbers in upper grades while this was completely opposite in primary and pre-school levels.
The column graph compares the male and
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female
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teachers’
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ratio
in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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levels
of educational institutions in the United Kingdom in 2010. As an
overall
trend, colleges and universities in the UK had more male lecturers while more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
were employed
in lowers grades.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the diagram, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of
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female
instructors in the UK in 2010 was quite higher in the nursery and elementary
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levels
as their percentage was around 90%. The
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female
academics in secondary
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level
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above the half while an exact
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ratio
of male and
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female
lecturers could
be observed
in colleges. A contrasting scenario was visible in universities and private training institutes as male
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teachers
dominated these two educational settings. In university
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level
, 3
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females
were employed
against 7 male mentors while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
was 4 by 5 in private institutes who provided training courses.

In summary, male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the UK was higher in numbers in upper grades while this was completely opposite in primary and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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