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The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the internet every day from 2003-2006

The given bar illustrates the proportion of citizens of different age groups in the UK who used internet from 2003-2006Overall, it is clearly seen that, 16-24 age group were used internet maximum, whereas 65+ age group were minimum user of internet. Interestingly, all age group internet usage was incresase over the given time period. Looking at the graph in more detail, In 2003 80 percent adult of 16 -24 age group used internet in daily basic and this figure remained same in 2004, while 65+ age group didn't use internet in 2003. 25-44 Age group and 45-54 age group 50 percent and 60 percent netizen used internet daily respectively in 2003. 30 percent adult from 55-64 age group used internet everyday in 2003. The percentage of adults of 65 + age group was between 18 to 20 percent by 2006. In 25-44 age group usage of internet was 60 percent which was incresase considerably and reached 80 percent in 2006. From 60 percent to 80 percent netizen used internet in 45 -55 age group in given period. 100 percent adult of 16 -24 age group who used internet in daily in 2005, however this percentage decline slightly to 90 percent in 2005. 30 percent citizen from 55-64 age group used internet in 2004 and 2005 and percentage was incresase to 50 percent in 2006.
The
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given
bar illustrates the proportion of citizens of
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different
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age
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groups
in the UK who
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used
internet from 2003-2006Overall, it is
clearly
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seen
that, 16-24
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age
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group
were
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used
internet maximum, whereas 65+
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age
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group
were minimum user of internet.
Interestingly
, all
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age
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group
internet usage was
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incresase
over the
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given
time period. Looking at the graph in more detail, In 2003 80
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percent
adult of 16 -24
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age
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group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet in daily basic and this figure remained same in 2004, while 65+
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age
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group
didn't
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use
internet in 2003. 25-44
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Age
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group
and 45-54
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age
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group
50
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percent
and 60
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percent
netizen
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used
internet daily
respectively
in 2003. 30
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percent
adult from 55-64
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age
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group
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used
internet everyday in 2003. The percentage of
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adults
of 65 +
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age
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group
was
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 18 to 20
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percent
by 2006. In 25-44
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age
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group
usage of internet was 60
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percent
which was
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incresase
considerably
and reached 80
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percent
in 2006. From 60
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percent
to 80
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percent
netizen
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used
internet in 45 -55
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age
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group
in
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given
period. 100
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percent
adult of 16 -24
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age
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group
who
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used
internet in daily in 2005,
however
this percentage decline
slightly
to 90
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percent
in 2005. 30
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percent
citizen from 55-64
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age
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group
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used
internet in 2004 and 2005 and percentage was
Possible spelling mistake found.
incresase
to 50
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percent
in 2006.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the UK who used the internet every day from 2003-2006

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
224 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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