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the charts below show the average percentages in typical of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much

The charts showed the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients; sodium, saturated fats and added sugars consumed in the USA. The nutrients can harm the body as they were considered as unhealthy ingredients. Overall, it can be seen that the three types of nutrients were consumed divided into four categories, such as breakfast, lunch dinner, and snacks. Generally speaking, sodium, saturated fat, and added sugar were less consume as their breakfast. According to the first chart, 43% of Americans is in the lead to consume sodium in the evening meals, followed by lunch in the second-highest percentage of 29%. However, sodium was equally eaten in the morning and snack time, 14% each. Furthermore, saturated fat was consumed by 37% of Americans during dinner. Whereas, the least percentage of 16% consumed saturated fat as breakfast. In addition, the highest added sugar consumption was in snack time, with 42%. In contrast, the least of 16% were eaten added sugar in the morning.
The charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients; sodium,
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saturated
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fats
and
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
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consumed
in the USA. The nutrients can harm the body as they
were considered
as unhealthy ingredients.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the three types of nutrients were
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consumed
divided into four categories, such as breakfast, lunch dinner, and snacks.

Generally
speaking, sodium,
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saturated
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fat
, and
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
were less
It seems that “to” is missing in front of the verb.
consume
as their breakfast. According to the
first
chart, 43% of Americans is in the lead to consume sodium in the evening meals, followed by lunch in the second-highest percentage of 29%.
However
, sodium was
equally
eaten in the morning and snack time, 14% each.
Furthermore
,
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
was
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consumed
by 37% of Americans during dinner.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the least percentage of 16%
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consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
as breakfast.
In addition
, the highest
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption was in snack time, with 42%.
In contrast
, the least of 16%
were eaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in the morning.
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IELTS academic the charts below show the average percentages in typical of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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