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The chart below shows the percentage coming to australia between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

The chart below shows the percentage coming to australia between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market. y7JQM
The line graph illustrates, percentage of gain by Australia for holding the share of Japan's tourist market from 1985 to 1994. Overall, the percentage of returns were increasing dramatically over the given period. At end of the year it reaches to peak. In 1985, the percentage coming to Australia from Japan's tourist market was stood at 2percentage. Over the following three years the proportion were rose dramatically to 1percentage per year. However, a sudden dip was reported in the year 1989 of 1percentage. After that, the percentage coming to Australia started to increase gradually. In the year 1990, it touches nearly to 5percentage and continuing the increase for reamaining years. Meanwhile, in 1993 ratio reached at its peak which is above 6percentage and levelling of at this rate for the rest of the year.
The line graph illustrates,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of gain by Australia for holding the share of Japan's tourist market from 1985 to 1994.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of returns were increasing
dramatically
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. At
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it reaches to peak. In 1985, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
coming to Australia from Japan's tourist market
was stood
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2percentage
. Over the following three years the proportion were rose
dramatically
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
1percentage
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
However
, a sudden dip
was reported
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1989 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
1percentage
. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
coming to Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase
gradually
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1990, it touches
nearly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
5percentage
and continuing the increase for
Possible spelling mistake found.
reamaining
years. Meanwhile, in 1993 ratio reached at its peak which is above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
6percentage
and levelling of at this rate for the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage coming to australia between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share of the Japanese tourist market.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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