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The chart below shows the people in Australia in 5 city to buy and drink coffee and tea

The chart below shows the people in Australia in 5 city to buy and drink coffee and tea AwMlX
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of people in Australia to buy, drink a coffee and tea in the five city including: Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney and Hobart. The general overview is the most popular city that people like to buy a coffee and tea is: Melbourne, the unpopular city is Adelaide. It is apparent that in the Hobart 48 percent of people buy a fresh coffee last 4 weeks, is drop to 41 percent in Melbourne, the percentage of people in the Brisbane is decrease around 33 percent, people in the Adelaide and Hobart is fall to 34 and 43 percent respectively. Additionally, people in the Melbourne buy a instant coffee last 4 week around 48 percent, is rising to 55 percent buy in Brisbane, is deep to 45 percent in Sydney, in Adelaide is rose to 50 percent, there was peak at 54 percent in Hobart. On the contrary the percentage that people in Adelaide go to café last 4 week is 49 percent, is go up to 55 percent in Brisbane, the percentage in Sydney and Hobart is 62 and 61 percent respectively. However there was be significant in Melbourne is increase dramatically to 64 percent.
The bar chart illustrates the information about the
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percentage
of
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people
in Australia to
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buy
, drink a
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coffee
and tea in the five city including: Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney and Hobart.

The general overview is the most popular city that
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people
like to
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buy
a
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coffee
and tea is: Melbourne, the unpopular city is Adelaide.

It is apparent that in the Hobart 48
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
last 4 weeks, is drop to 41
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percent
in Melbourne, the
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percentage
of
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people
in the Brisbane is decrease around 33
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percent
,
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people
in the Adelaide and Hobart is fall to 34 and 43
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percent
respectively
.

Additionally
,
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people
in the Melbourne
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buy
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
instant
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coffee
last 4 week around 48
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percent
, is rising to 55
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percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
in Brisbane, is deep to 45
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percent
in Sydney, in Adelaide is rose to 50
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percent
, there was peak at 54
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percent
in Hobart.

On the contrary
the
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percentage
that
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people
in Adelaide go to café last 4 week is 49
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percent
, is
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
up to 55
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percent
in Brisbane, the
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percentage
in Sydney and Hobart is 62 and 61
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percent
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there was
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
significant in Melbourne is increase
dramatically
to 64
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the people in Australia in 5 city to buy and drink coffee and tea

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
202 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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