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The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. xnGQ
The bar chart illustrate the children traveling to the school in mulipul ways for 20 years between 1990 to 2010 using different modes of transport. There is a huge different in children going to the school by waling and by Driving through the car between 1990and 2010. If we see students went to the school by walk more in 1990 reaching more then 12 millions and being highest students reaching school. and it sharp fell down half off percentag 6 millions to 2010. However students travel to the school by cars more then 4 millions in 1990 and in 2010 it reached 11 millions having 3 times more development in 2010. however going through the cycling had huge different in 1990 and 2010, having more then 6 millions in 1990and it sharp fell down one third in 2010 having just 2 millions in 2010. that is the lowest way student reached school in 2010. and by walking and bus student reached nearly 6 millions in 1990 and 3 millions in 2010. And bus student reached 7 millions in 1990 and 5 miilions in 2010. To sum rise, cars and walking played a main role in both years.
The bar chart illustrate the children traveling to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
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mulipul
ways for 20 years
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1990 and 2010".
between 1990 to 2010
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of transport.

There is a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in children going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by waling and by Driving through the car between 1990and 2010. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
went to the
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school
by walk more in 1990 reaching more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
12
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millions
and being
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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students
reaching
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school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it
Did you mean "sharps"?
sharp
fell down half off
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentag
6
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millions
to 2010.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
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students
travel to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by cars more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1990 and in 2010 it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
having 3 times more development in 2010.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
going through the cycling had huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in 1990 and 2010, having more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1990and it
Did you mean "sharps"?
sharp
fell down one third in 2010 having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2
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millions
in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is the lowest way
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student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
by walking and bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
nearly
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1990 and 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 2010. And bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1990 and 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
miilions
in 2010.

To sum rise, cars and walking played a main role in both years.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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