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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. g6Bd
The chart shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods. Generally in the past men that attended studies are more than women, but in the last years, women have passed men. In the first period, men in part-time education are more than women, and they have arrived at 1000 thousand of them while women were less than 800 thousand; the same in full-time education, women were less than men. In the second period, men were less than the first one in part-time education but even more than women. The chart of women in part-time education from the first one to the last one has grown a lot until to pass the men chart and to arrive over 1000 thousand. The chart of full-time education is totally different numbers compared to part-time education. The bars start from 100 thousand to arrive at few more than 200 thousand. In the end, there are a lot of differences between part-time education and full-time numbers, but women chart has grown more than the men ones.
The
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chart
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shows
the number of
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men
and
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women
in
further
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education
in Britain in three periods.
Generally
in the past
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men
that attended studies are more than
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women
,
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but
in the last years,
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women
have passed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In the
first
period,
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men
in part-time
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education
are more than
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women
, and they have arrived at 1000 thousand of them while
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women
were less than 800 thousand; the same in full-time
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education
,
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women
were less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

In the second period,
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men
were less than the
first
one in part-time
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education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even more than women.

The
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chart
of
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women
in part-time
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education
from the
first
one to the last one has grown a lot until to pass the
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men
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chart
and to arrive over 1000 thousand.

The
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chart
of full-time
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education
is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
numbers compared to part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
bars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from 100 thousand to arrive at few more than 200 thousand.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
differences between part-time
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education
and full-time numbers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
has grown more than the
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men
ones.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.