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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. EJEr
The bar chart compares the number of students based on their gender, men and women, in Britain through three periods1970, 1980 and 1990. Overall the most significant pieces of information to emerge from the graph are that woman students number increased over a time and became more than men. Moreover, part time style of study was more than full time style and increased over the three periods. In 1970 the number of men who engaged in study were 1000 thousands, which was more than woman in the same period as they were just 700, 000. In 1980, saw a gradually increased in woman students to reach at just 820 thousands. In contrast the men students’ number decreased slightly and reached to 850 thousands and stayed more than women however the difference in numbers got smaller than before. There was a dramatic increase in female figure, and was equal 1100 thousands which became more than men students’’ number that was 850 thousands. In the style of study, full time education was less than part time in a huge difference, but it increased gradually over the time as it was in 1970, 100 thousands of men, 70 thousands of women to reach at approximately 300 thousands in 1990 for both gender. While the full time style was more than this level. In 1970, it was 1000 men 700 thousand women and became 1100 thousand women, 850 thousands men.
The bar chart compares the
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number
of
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students
based on their gender,
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men
and
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women
, in Britain through three periods1970, 1980 and 1990.
Overall
the most significant pieces of information to emerge from the graph are that woman
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students
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number
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increased
over a
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time
and became more than
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men
.
Moreover
, part
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time
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style
of study was more than full
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time
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style
and
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increased
over the three periods.

In 1970 the
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number
of
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men
who engaged in study were 1000 thousands, which was more than woman in the same period as they were
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just
700, 000. In 1980,
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saw
a
gradually
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increased
in woman
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students
to reach at
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just
820 thousands.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
the
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men
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students’
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number
decreased
slightly
and reached to 850 thousands and stayed more than
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women
however
the difference in
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numbers
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got
smaller than
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before
. There was a dramatic increase in female figure, and was equal 1100 thousands which became more than
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men
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students’’
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number
that was 850 thousands.

In the
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style
of study, full
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time
education was less than part
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time
in a huge difference,
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but
it
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increased
gradually
over the
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time
as it was in 1970,
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "100 thousand".
100 thousands of
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men
,
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "70 thousand".
70 thousands of
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women
to reach at approximately 300 thousands in 1990 for both gender.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the full
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time
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style
was more than this level. In 1970, it was 1000
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men
700 thousand
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women
and became 1100 thousand
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women
, 850 thousands
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men
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.