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The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different ages and the support they get in terms of fees and time.

The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different ages and the support they get in terms of fees and time. wO7nl
The given bar chart illustrates the main reason for study among students of different ages and the pie chart illustrates the supports they get in terms of money and time. To begin with, the bar evaluate 3 different reason in five different age group. Firstly, the under 26 age group has 65% main reason is for career which was highest in the this reason while in remaining two reason interest and promotion has been contributed 10% and 20% respectively. Secondly, 26-35 aged people's main reason behind study to got promotion so, 60% individual studying for this reason. Moreover, 35-45 aged people main two reasons were motivated to study which was for promotion and for interest both contributed 40% respectively. Additionally, 45-60 aged pubilc's main reason was for interest so it has been accounted 60%. Furthermore, 60 and above aged person has main motive to study were interest so it has been accounted 90% which was highest under this reason. In addition, pei chart illustrates the support in terms of fees and time off. so in this situation under 26 aged group were highest contributed by 60% because that is main where this group spend their whole time and pay handsome fee for study. while other aged group has been accounted 20%, 10%, 5%, and 5% by 26-35, 35-45, 45-60, and 60 & above respectively. Overall, whole information illustrates that different aged have different motivetion to do their study and also different aged individual spend their time and money according their age.
The
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given
bar chart
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illustrates
the
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main
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reason
for
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study
among students of
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different
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ages
and the pie chart
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illustrates
the supports they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in terms of money and time.

To
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begin
with, the bar evaluate 3
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different
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reason
in five
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
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group
.
Firstly
, the under 26
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age
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group
has 65%
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main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is for career which was highest in
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "this" is left.
the this
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reason
while in remaining two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and promotion has
been contributed
10% and 20%
respectively
.
Secondly
, 26-35
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aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
promotion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, 60% individual studying for this
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reason
.
Moreover
, 35-45
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aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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main
two
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reasons
were motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which was for promotion and for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
both contributed 40%
respectively
.
Additionally
, 45-60
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aged
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubilc
's
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main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
was for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has
been accounted
60%.
Furthermore
, 60 and above
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aged
person has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
motive to
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study
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has
been accounted
90% which was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
under this reason.

In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pei
chart
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illustrates
the support in terms of fees and time off.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
in this situation under 26
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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
were highest contributed by 60%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
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main
where this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
spend their whole time and pay handsome fee for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
other
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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
has
been accounted
20%, 10%, 5%, and 5% by 26-35, 35-45, 45-60, and 60 & above
respectively
.

Overall
, whole information
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illustrates
that
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different
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aged
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
motivetion
to do their
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study
and
also
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
individual spend their time and money according their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the main reasons for study among students of different ages and the support they get in terms of fees and time.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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