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The chart below shows male and females fitness membership in the city of Frenton between 1970 and 2000

The chart below shows male and females fitness membership in the city of Frenton between 1970 and 2000 G3wNm
The given bar chart illustrates about how many women and men were a member of the fitness in the city of Frenton between 1970 and 2000 Overall, What stands out the graph is that Only in 1990 year the number of men and women were nearly the same however there was remarkable difference another years/ When coming to details out of this graph. The amount of male fitness membership more compared to female during 1970-1980. In 1995 there was a twofold increase in the number of membership men than women with 2000 and 4000 In 1995 and while 2000 and 4000 in 1975 respectively. Despite to decreasing the member of men in 1985 The numbers of male peaked in 1995 with 2000 and 5000 in turn. Women went iess to fitness in previous years. In 1985 the numbers of female slightly more compare to last decade 1000 and nearly 2700 in turn. However in 2000 the number of women membership formed 2000 people whereas men were 1000 in the city of Frenton
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates about how
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many
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women
and
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men
were a member of the fitness in the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frenton
between 1970 and 2000

Overall
, What stands out the graph is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
in 1990 year the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were
nearly
the same
however
there was remarkable difference another years/

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
coming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
out of this graph. The amount of male fitness membership more compared to female during 1970-1980. In 1995 there was a twofold increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of membership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men


than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with 2000 and 4000 In 1995 and while 2000 and 4000 in 1975
respectively
. Despite to decreasing the member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in 1985 The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of male peaked in 1995 with 2000 and 5000 in turn.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
went
Possible spelling mistake found.
iess
to fitness in previous years. In 1985 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of female
slightly
more compare to last decade 1000 and
nearly
2700 in turn.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in 2000 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
membership formed 2000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were 1000 in the city of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Frenton
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IELTS academic The chart below shows male and females fitness membership in the city of Frenton between 1970 and 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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