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the chart below shows changes in mental capacity in parients who have been given a diagnosis of mild cognnitive impairment a condition that can develop into alzheimer disease or other types of dementia

the chart below shows changes in mental capacity in parients who have been given a diagnosis of mild cognnitive impairment a condition that can develop into alzheimer disease or other types of dementia qaDOd
As it is shown in the illustration that the given table obviously represent the modification of mental magnitude who have been given a diagnosis of gentle cognitive deterioration. Therefore, it is explicitly observed that there are two groups which properly indicate different daily exercise plainly. All in all, it could be noticed that in the first group there are clearly followed by a schedule which is correctly for aerobic workout for 6 month forcefully.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it
is shown
in the illustration that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
obviously
represent the modification of mental magnitude who have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a diagnosis of gentle cognitive deterioration.
Therefore
, it is
explicitly
observed that there are two groups which
properly
indicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
daily exercise
plainly
. All in all, it could
be noticed
that in the
first
group there are
clearly
followed by a schedule which is
correctly
for aerobic workout for 6
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
forcefully
.
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IELTS academic the chart below shows changes in mental capacity in parients who have been given a diagnosis of mild cognnitive impairment a condition that can develop into alzheimer disease or other types of dementia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
74 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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