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The chart below shows attitudes towards culture and cultural activities in New Zeland.

The chart below shows attitudes towards culture and cultural activities in New Zeland. VYyyK
The bar graph illustrates tendency towards other and culture activities in New Zealand. It is clear from the chart that majority of people who strongly agree to extra curriculum activities participation by children. It is immediately seen that the percentage of people who believe cultural performances aid improvements in people’s lives is the same as the people who believe such activities bring them together. Just over one-third of people who slightly agree to these activities. The next is people’s belief towards other activities. There is a striking difference between the people who strongly agree sporting activities are more vital than cultural one and people who believe children should participate in art and music activities. The figure for these is almost a quarter and almost three-quarter respectively. 1 in every 10 people strongly agree that they do not have knowledge of country’s cultural activities. Overall, It can be seen that most people strongly agree to children participation to various activities at 74%.
The bar graph illustrates tendency towards other and culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in New Zealand. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the chart that majority of
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people
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
to extra curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
participation by children.

It is immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe cultural performances aid improvements in
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people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is the same as the
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe such
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activities
bring them together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
over one-third of
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people
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who
slightly
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agree
to these activities.

The
next
is
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people’s
belief towards other
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activities
. There is a striking difference between the
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are more vital than cultural one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe children should participate in art and music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The figure for
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
almost a quarter and almost three-quarter
respectively
.

1 in every 10
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
that they do not have knowledge of country’s cultural activities.

Overall
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
to children participation to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at 74%.
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IELTS academic The chart below shows attitudes towards culture and cultural activities in New Zeland.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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