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The chart below show the percentage of fatal accident by location in a European country in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below show the percentage of fatal accident by location in a European country in 2000. PrWl2
The given graph illustrates information on percentag of accidents which killed people in 2000 in rural and urban areas of Europian countries. At 55 mph highest number of accidents happened in rural areas which are around 80%. While at the same speed only 19% of deadly accidents happened in urban areas. In an urban area, the highest number of the accident took place at the speed of 30mph or less. And compare to urban areas only 22% of accidents occur at the speed of 30mph or less. 60mph is in second place with around 70% deathly accidents in a rural area, while in an urban area only 29% of accidents took place at this speed. There is totally opposite pattern at the speed of 30-40 mph, around 69% of the accident happened in an urban area and 30% occur in rural area. Percentage of the accidents took place at 45-50 mph is almost the same with a very small difference in rural area, which is 51% in format and around 49% in later. Overall, in the countryside the mortality rate were higher at lower speed and in the cities, it was higher in higher speed.
The
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given
graph illustrates information on
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percentag
of
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accidents
which killed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2000 in
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rural
and
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urban
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areas
of
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Europian
countries. At
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55 mph
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
number of
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accidents
happened in
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rural
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areas
which are
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around
80%.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
at the same
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speed
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only
19% of deadly
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accidents
happened in
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. In an
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urban
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area
, the highest number of the
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accident
took
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place
at the
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speed
of
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30mph
or less. And compare to
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urban
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areas
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only
22% of
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accidents
occur at the
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speed
of
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30mph
or less.

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60mph
is in second
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place
with
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around
70% deathly
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accidents
in a
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rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, while in an
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
29% of
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accidents
took
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place
at this
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speed
. There is
totally
opposite pattern at the
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speed
of 30
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-40 mph
,
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around
69% of the
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accident
happened in an
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urban
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area
and 30% occur in
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rural
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area
. Percentage of the
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accidents
took
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place
at 45
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-50 mph
is almost the same with a
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very
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small
difference in
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rural
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area
, which is 51% in format and
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around
49% in later.
Overall
, in the countryside the mortality rate were higher at lower
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speed
and in the cities, it was higher in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
.
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IELTS academic The chart below show the percentage of fatal accident by location in a European country in 2000.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
195 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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