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The chart below gives information about favorite leisure activity of teenagers in Canada.

The chart below gives information about favorite leisure activity of teenagers in Canada. m831K
The bar graph elucidates the information regarding the 4 various leisure activities of Canadian teenagers. It is therefore, lucid from the overall analysis that identical proportion of boys and girls prefer to listen music in their leisure time. However, maximum of male teenagers like to do shopping. As being depicted in the illustration, almost 13% of teenagers girls liked to spend their leisure time in sports. Whereas, the figure for boys was twice of it for the same. Apart from this, computer games were played both males and females teenagers in their leisure time activity the figure accounted for almost 18% and 14% respectively. Probing further, the highest percentage of teenaged boys accounting for approximately 33% loved to do shopping in their free time. In contrast shopping was least favorite leisure activity among Canadian girls. While, music was equally liked by both teenager girls and boys in their leisure time the figure accounted for almost 19%.
The bar graph elucidates the information regarding the 4 various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activities of Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. It is
therefore
, lucid from the
overall
analysis that identical proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
prefer to listen music in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, maximum of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
like to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
. As
being depicted
in the illustration, almost 13% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
liked to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in sports. Whereas, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was twice of it for the same. Apart from this, computer games
were played
both males and females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activity the figure accounted for almost 18% and 14%
respectively
. Probing
further
, the highest percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
accounting for approximately 33%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
shopping was least favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
activity among Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. While, music was
equally
liked by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the figure accounted for almost 19%.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information about favorite leisure activity of teenagers in Canada.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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