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the changes of Paradise Island from past yo present illustrated in this map

the changes of Paradise Island from past yo present illustrated in this map 71PY
The map reveals the honing of Paradise Island between past and now. Overall, numerous developments and adding have occurred as a result of renovation of the Paradise Island. Firstly, there was a beach on the north-west side of the Island which was located just above the Pier with a bridge and boats, however, over the year passed it has been changed considerably that we can see numerous adding such as permission for swimmers in the beach, then the bridge over the Pier was expanded, consequently that boats have turned into a splendid cruise ship now. In addition, the sea took place in the north in the past and scientific research station was the main architecture of west-south side including some trees around it, comparing with today's location it had destroyed and rebuilt as a hotel complex, accordingly swimming pool was constructed instead of that trees. While open restaurant is nearly in the middle of the Island, the BBQ area lies just under it followed by the cycle path in the south-east, one planting space coalesced there previously. In the empty north-east side filled by situating Scenic lookout now, however the rocks have been remaining mimic to the north-east. The natural spring has introduced as Café in the east.
The map reveals the honing of Paradise Island between past and
now
.

Overall
, numerous developments and adding have occurred
as a result
of renovation of the Paradise Island.

Firstly
, there was a beach on the north-west side of the Island which
was located
just
above the Pier with a bridge and boats,
however
, over the year passed it has been
changed
considerably
that we can
see
numerous adding such as permission for swimmers in the beach, then the bridge over the Pier
was expanded
,
consequently
that boats have turned into a splendid cruise ship
now
.
In addition
, the sea took place in the north in the past and scientific research station was the main architecture of west-south side including
some
trees around it, comparing with
today
's location it had
destroyed
and rebuilt as a hotel complex,
accordingly
swimming pool
was constructed
instead
of that trees. While open restaurant is
nearly
in the middle of the Island, the BBQ area lies
just
under it followed by the cycle path in the south-east, one planting space coalesced there previously. In the empty north-east side filled by situating Scenic lookout
now
,
however
the rocks have been remaining mimic to the north-east. The natural spring has introduced as Café in the east.
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IELTS academic the changes of Paradise Island from past yo present illustrated in this map

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
208 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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