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The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminum cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminum cans. ogkg
The given process chart illustrates the information about how to reuse aluminium cans. Overall, this process takes place in seven different steps starting from collecting used cans, cleaning, sorting, heating, melting, rolling, molding in tins and reusing. In detail, firstly, used cans are collected in bin at individual’s level, a separate bin which contains only aluminium cans. Then, in the next step, it is collected from house to house, and in the third step, this collection of aluminium cans are gone through cleaning process via machine. After completion of cleaning, it is send for sorted, shredded and compressed. In the fourth step, to melt this compressed aluminium cans heat is given. After that, in the fifth step, roll making process is taken place, where it is rolled different thickness vary from 2. 5 mm to 6mm. Next, for second last step, molulding is done, for this, aluminium roll is used to make cans with the use of moulding of can. Finally, in the last step, cans are ready for distribution after having some relevant prints on it. And, just under the three fourth proportion of recycle cans are taken place in the UK.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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process
chart illustrates the information about how to reuse
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
cans.

Overall
, this
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process
takes place in seven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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steps
starting from collecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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cans
, cleaning, sorting, heating, melting, rolling, molding in tins and reusing.

In detail,
firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are collected
in bin at individual’s level, a separate bin which contains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
. Then, in the
next
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step
, it
is collected
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, and in the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, this collection of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
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cans
are gone
through cleaning
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process
via machine. After completion of cleaning, it is
Consider using a past participle here: "sent".
send
for sorted, shredded and compressed. In the fourth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, to melt this compressed
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
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cans
heat is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

After that, in the fifth
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step
, roll making
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process
is taken
place, where it
is rolled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
thickness vary from 2. 5 mm to
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "6 mm"
6mm
.
Next
, for second last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
molulding
is done
, for this,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
roll is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
of
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can
.
Finally
, in the last
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step
,
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cans
are ready for distribution after having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant prints on it. And,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under the three fourth proportion of recycle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
are taken
place in the UK.

IELTS academic The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminum cans.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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