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The below chart show the expenditure that people in France and the UK spent on the customer product in 2010

The below chart show the expenditure that people in France and the UK spent on the customer product in 2010 L3YNp
The bar chart illustrates the amount of money that citizens in two contrasting nations including France and the UK spent on five customer products in the year 2010. Overall, the amount of money spent on almost all consumer products in the UK was higher than the figure for that in France except Perfume. The UK individuals and French spent the highest amount of money on Cars, as opposed to the figure for that on perfumes. The UK citizens expenditure spent on cars was reported at 400000 which was higher than the French’s expenditure on cars around 50000. The amount of money that the individuals in the UK and France spent on computers made up 350000 and 375000 respectively. In addition, the figure for disbursement that the UK people purchased in cameras stood at 350000, which was approximately double that in France (150000). While the amount of French’s expenditure on books accounted for 300000, the figure for that in the UK was higher than around 50000. The quantity of the money that French spent on perfume stood at 200000, compared to 150000 the UK’s money. DONE
The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that citizens in two contrasting nations including France and the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on five customer products in the year 2010.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on almost all consumer products in the UK was higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for that in France except Perfume. The UK individuals and French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on Cars, as opposed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for that on perfumes.

The UK citizens expenditure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on cars
was reported
at 400000 which was higher than the French’s expenditure on cars around 50000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that the individuals in the UK and France
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on computers made up 350000 and 375000
respectively
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for disbursement that the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
in cameras stood at 350000, which was approximately double that in France (150000).

While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of French’s expenditure on books accounted for 300000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for that in the UK was higher than around 50000. The quantity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on perfume stood at 200000, compared to 150000 the UK’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. DONE
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IELTS academic The below chart show the expenditure that people in France and the UK spent on the customer product in 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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