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Gadgets bought by men and women in the UK, 2013

Gadgets bought by men and women in the UK, 2013 m80GK
The chart compares the appliances purchased by men and women in Britain in the year 2013. Overall, it can be seen that women mostly spent their money on security cameras, whereas men had the highest proportion on wireless home audio systems. In regard to women, safety gadgets were recorded to be the most important appliances for women at about 90%, as opposed to outdoor speaker systems, which had the lowest percentage at nearly 20%. It is also noticeable that programmable thermostats and wireless home security accounted for the same proportion at more than 60%. As for men, the highest percentage was 80% for wireless home audio systems, while the opposite was security cameras at 25%. In addition, both energy management and entertainment-based gadgets had the same figure of 55%.
The chart compares the appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in Britain in the year 2013.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
mostly
spent their money on security cameras, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had the highest proportion on wireless home audio systems.

In regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, safety gadgets
were recorded
to be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
appliances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at about 90%, as opposed to outdoor speaker systems, which had the lowest percentage at
nearly
20%. It is
also
noticeable that programmable thermostats and wireless home security accounted for the same proportion at more than 60%.

As for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, the highest percentage was 80% for wireless home audio systems, while the opposite was security cameras at 25%.
In addition
, both energy management and entertainment-based gadgets had the same figure of 55%.

IELTS academic Gadgets bought by men and women in the UK, 2013

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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