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The bar graph shows the result of a survey about the ways people bought and drank coffee and tea in five cities in Australia in last 4 weeks.

The bar graph shows the result of a survey about the ways people bought and drank coffee and tea in five cities in Australia in last 4 weeks. 6m3jx
The bar graph shows the result of a survey about the ways people bought and drank coffee and tea in five cities in Australia in last 4 weeks. Overall, people in four out of the five cities in Australia got coffee or tea at a café most, following is buying instant coffee and the least people’s habit is buying fresh coffee. In Sydney, as well as all four others, people infrequently bought the fresh coffee most. And people in this area bought instant one more often. However, they spent much more time going to a café to enjoy coffee than these two habits. People in Melbourne almost got coffee the same way as in Sydney, but they less bought fresh coffee and spent more time for other two habits. The residents of Brisbane least bought fresh coffee in the five cities. Instead, they spent these time almost equally on getting to café for coffee and buying the instant one. The report of the cities of Adelaide is different from the rest that its people most bought instant coffee than the other two in spite of the fact that they buying instant one just a little bit more than going to a café. And in the last city, Holbart, people spend time on each habit almost similar to Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane despite the fact that there is a more clearl difference in the percentage of each habit to others here.
The bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the result of a survey about the ways
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and drank
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coffee
and tea in five
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cities
in Australia in last 4 weeks.

Overall
,
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people
in four out of the five
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cities
in Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
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coffee
or tea at a café most, following is
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buying
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and the least
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people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
is
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buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
coffee.

In Sydney,
as well
as all four others,
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people
infrequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the
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fresh
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coffee
most. And
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people
in this area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant one more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
However
, they spent much more
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time
going to a café to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
than these two
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habits
.
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People
in Melbourne almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
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coffee
the same way as in Sydney,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and spent more
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time
for
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other
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. The residents of Brisbane least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
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coffee
in the five
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cities
.
Instead
, they spent these
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time
almost
equally
on getting to café for
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coffee
and
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buying
the instant one. The report of the
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cities
of Adelaide is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the rest that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
instant one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
more than going to a café. And in the last city,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Holbart
,
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people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on each
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habit
almost similar to Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane despite the fact that there is a more
Possible spelling mistake found.
clearl
difference in the percentage of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
to others here.

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the result of a survey about the ways people bought and drank coffee and tea in five cities in Australia in last 4 weeks.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
240 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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