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The bar graph shows the percentage of physical activity done by the Australian

The bar graph shows the percentage of physical activity done by the Australian jdxmN
The bar graph shows the percentage of physical activity done by the Australian male and female in accordance with their age during the year 2010. Overall, physical activity never dropped beyond 39. 5% and had the highest point at 53. 3%. The bar graph fluctuated according to the age of women and men in the year 2010. Male recorded the nadir point of 39. 5% in the age group of 35 to 44 where the percentage different noted as the highest among other age groups. On the contrast, Women secured the peak percentage of 53. 3 under the age group of 45 to 54. Like these two groups, there are three other age groups where women were superior to men in the age category of 25 to 34 and 55 to 64. In fact, the age group of 65 and over recorded a minimum difference between men and women noted only as 0. 4%. Unlike these five groups, men had a higher percentage than women under the category of 15 to 24, where men had 52. 8% and women had 47. 7%.
The bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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percentage
of physical activity done by the Australian male and female in accordance with their
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age
during the year 2010.

Overall
, physical activity never dropped beyond 39. 5% and had the highest point at 53. 3%. The bar graph fluctuated according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the year 2010.

Male recorded the nadir point of 39. 5% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 35 to 44 where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
noted as the highest among other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. On the contrast,
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Women
secured the peak
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percentage
of 53. 3 under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 45 to 54. Like these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, there are three other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category of 25 to 34 and 55 to 64.

In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 65 and over recorded a minimum difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
noted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as 0. 4%. Unlike these five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
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men
had a higher
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percentage
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
under the category of 15 to 24, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
had 52. 8% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had 47. 7%.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the percentage of physical activity done by the Australian

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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