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the charts blow show agriculture production in two areas.

the charts blow show agriculture production in two areas. q5KqE
The chart shows the percentage of different farming production in two areas. The percentages of meat are same in both area, but other items differ in each region. In the eastern area, every item is close to others. The meat dedicates highest amount of production with 35%. Next, diary is in the second place. Vegetables form 20%, and grain has the lowest percentage with 15%. The amount of productions in western area are more different than east. Unlike the east, grain has highest percentage with 45%. Meat consists 35% of the production, like east. Vegetables just include 5% of productions. In general, both area have same percentage of meat production, but other items are different.
The chart
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shows
the
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percentage
of
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different
farming
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production
in two
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areas
. The
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percentages
of
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meat
are same in both
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area
,
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but
other items differ in each region.

In the eastern
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area
, every item is close to others. The
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meat
dedicates
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
amount of
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production
with 35%.
Next
, diary is in the second place. Vegetables form 20%, and grain has the lowest
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percentage
with 15%.

The amount of
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productions
in western
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area
are more
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different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
east. Unlike the east, grain has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
with 45%.
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Meat
consists 35% of the
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production
, like east. Vegetables
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just
include 5% of productions.

In general
, both
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area
have same
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other items are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
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IELTS academic the charts blow show agriculture production in two areas.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
115 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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