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The bar graph shows the global sales from 2000 to 2006

The bar graph shows the global sales from 2000 to 2006 KyLr0
The bar chart illustrates the global sales of 4 different types of digital games over a period of 6 years. It is clear that handheld games were the most bought. Both handheld games, mobile games, and online games increased steadily, and console games slightly decreased every year. In 2000, the purchase of handheld games stood at nearly $20 billion. It continued to increase steadily after that, without much difference and reached the milestone of nearly 18 billion dollars in 2006. It was also the top game of all from 2000 to 2006. Online games appeared in 2001 with a number of productions. products are spent less than 2 billion dollars. Not much has changed in the online game. The game on the phone appeared 1 year after the online game, but the amount to be paid was equal to the money spent to buy an online game about nearly 2 billion dollars in 2002. Although the game console appeared at the same time as the game handle, it was in the latter position, only about half the amount paid for the game handle. On the contrary, while the game handle was increased day by day, console games tended to decrease. Just over 2 billion dollars was paid for this toy in 2006. Behind both online and mobile games.
The bar chart illustrates the global sales of 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of digital
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games
over a period of 6 years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that handheld
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games
were the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. Both handheld
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games
, mobile
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games
, and
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online
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games
increased
steadily
, and console
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games
slightly
decreased every year.

In 2000, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of handheld
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games
stood at
nearly
$20
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billion
. It continued to increase
steadily
after that, without much difference and reached the milestone of
nearly
18
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2006. It was
also
the top game of all from 2000 to 2006.
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Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
appeared in 2001 with a number of productions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
products
are spent
less than 2
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billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
. Not much has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
game. The game on the phone appeared 1 year after the
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online
game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount to
be paid
was equal to the money spent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
game about
nearly
2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in 2002.

Although the game console appeared at the same time as the game handle, it was in the latter position,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about half the amount paid for the game handle.
On the contrary
, while the game handle
was increased
day by day, console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
tended to decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
over 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
was paid
for this toy in 2006. Behind both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the global sales from 2000 to 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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