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The bar graph show tree diferent transport used by adults in Great Britain, France and Germany

The given bar graph articulates popularity of three distict modes of transport amongst the different countries. Overall, most prefreable mode is car in every country with the exception of germany. It is prospicuously ovserved that in thr case of Great Britain 60% people used cars for transportation. Similarly, The USA had quite equal sums documented for this mode. Whilst, Motorcycle was most popular in USA as compared to all rendered countries in this report, that was 30%. Albeit, in Great Britain only 10% motorcycles was driven by adults. By scrutiniging the rest of information, Germany dominated all countries in the term of Bicycles, approximately 45% adults traveled by this mode. . In contrast, this is least preferable mode in USA and france that is 10% and 15% respectively. Meanwhile, three fold youngester of Great Britain supported to Bicycle. Interestingly, most demanding mode that is car, has been recorded with maximum counts(70%) in france and minimum(40%) in Germany, where was 30 percent difference in between of them.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph articulates popularity of three
Possible spelling mistake found.
distict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
of transport amongst the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Overall
, most
Possible spelling mistake found.
prefreable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
is car in every country
Consider using “except” or “except for”
with the exception of
Possible spelling mistake found.
germany
.

It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospicuously
Possible spelling mistake found.
ovserved
that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thr
case of Great Britain 60%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cars for transportation.
Similarly
, The USA had quite equal sums documented for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
. Whilst, Motorcycle was most popular
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the USA”.
in USA
as compared to all rendered countries in this report, that was 30%. Albeit, in Great Britain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% motorcycles
was driven
by adults.

By
Possible spelling mistake found.
scrutiniging
the rest of information, Germany dominated all countries in the term of Bicycles, approximately 45% adults traveled by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
In contrast
, this is
A determiner is probably missing here: “the least”.
least
preferable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the USA”.
in USA
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
that is
10% and 15%
respectively
. Meanwhile,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.
three fold
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngester
of Great Britain supported to Bicycle.
Interestingly
, most demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
that is
car, has
been recorded
with maximum counts(70%) in
Possible spelling mistake found.
france
and minimum(40%) in Germany, where was 30 percent difference in between of them.
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IELTS academic The bar graph show tree diferent transport used by adults in Great Britain, France and Germany

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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