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The bar graph illustrates the percentage of houses owned and rented in England and Wales between the years 1918 and 2011.

The bar graph illustrates the percentage of houses owned and rented in England and Wales between the years 1918 and 2011. OVyE7
The bar graph illustrates the percentage of houses owned and rented in England and Wales between the years 1918 and 2011. Overall, the percentage of rented accommodations decreased drastically. Whereas, the percentage of owned houses increased rapidly outracing rented houses, with both undergoing some fluctuation in between. In 1918, the percentage of rented houses was highest (around 78%) when compared to other years. However, the figure showed a steady decline to about 68% in 1939 and 1953 and continued to decrease reaching it's lowest point of approximately 31% in 2001. It then slightly increased to almost 36% in 2011 recording an overall decrease from the start. As regards to houses in owned accommodations, it was nearly 22% in 1918 which was the lowest percentage among all the years. But, in the next years, the graph had an upward trend, reaching its highest point of around 68% in 1991 with a few fluctuations in between. While it decreased to almost 64% in 2011. Household in owned accommodations saw a rapid surge throughout the period.
The bar graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
and rented in England and Wales between the years 1918 and 2011.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of rented accommodations decreased
drastically
. Whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
increased
rapidly
outracing rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, with both undergoing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation in between.

In 1918, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
was highest (around 78%) when compared to other years.
However
, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a steady decline to about 68% in 1939 and 1953 and continued to decrease reaching
Did you mean "its lowest point"?
it's lowest point
of approximately 31% in 2001. It then
slightly
increased to almost 36% in 2011 recording an
overall
decrease from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.

As regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
accommodations, it was
nearly
22% in 1918 which was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
among all the years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the
next
years, the graph had an upward trend, reaching its highest point of around 68% in 1991 with a few fluctuations in between.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
it decreased to almost 64% in 2011. Household in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
accommodations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a rapid surge throughout the period.

IELTS academic The bar graph illustrates the percentage of houses owned and rented in England and Wales between the years 1918 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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